Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The Final Goodbye

We enter this life/
as flesh and bone on a quest/
final prize is death/


"As i stood over his bed looking down on him, i was at a lost of words. How do you say goodbye when you truly know that you may never see someone again in this life?"
Although this may sound like a chapter out of a book. This is a true experience that many of us go through. With ageing parents and grand parents. How do we say goodbye to the pillars of our lives? These people who may have provided you with the foundation to become the beautiful person you are today. I am in this very situation myself.  My Grandfather appears to be in between worlds. His body seems to be slowly decaying and shuting down on him, and his mind and memory are gone.
"He reaches out to the empty air grabbing or pointing at something that is not there and his breathing is heavy and rattles likes and childs toy."
I cant help but remember this man as he was but the reality of where he is slaps me in the face. Should I mourn? Should I celibrate that he is moving on to a better place?
"I feel his chest and my hand hits bone where flesh use to be. I rub his head and say a silent prayer for him."
As i walked to the truck to leave my son runs to me and ask me if it is time to go, and I say yes. He is happy and begins to run to the truck. I stop him and tell him that he needs to go say bye to pepa. He goes and returns and ask me " why isn't pepa moving", I take a breath and explains that Pepa is dying. He gives me a blank stare. He doesn't know what that means. I explain the process and in talking with the young Cleven it makes it easier for me to deal with the old Cleven (Pepa) passing on.
I guess the proper way to say goodbye is to rejoice in that person's life, and to help others understand their passing. By talking with my son my Imani was renewed, because even though death is the final mystery, with imani (faith) I know what it is. I cant explain it but having faith (imani) in the process and sharing that makes the final goodbye easier.