We Don’t All Come from Kings and Queens: Leadership, Lies, and the Power of Collective Purpose
We Don’t All Come from Kings and Queens: Leadership, Lies, and the Power of Collective Purpose
Let’s get into it. This one’s gonna push some buttons—and that’s exactly the point. I'm not writing for comfort. I'm writing for clarity. And today, I want to address one of the most repeated mantras in our community:
“We all come from Kings and Queens.”
It sounds good. It feels empowering. But family—it’s not the whole truth.
Who Took the Trash Out?
If everyone was a king or queen…
Who held the sick?
Who built the temples?
Who mastered the mathematics?
Who cooked the food?
Who cleaned the streets?
Who protected the realm?
We all didn’t come from the throne. And that's not a bad thing. The idea that only royalty holds value is a lie designed to inflate egos—and egos that believe they’re at the center of the universe cannot be led.
Leadership isn’t about title or self-importance. It’s about service, wisdom, and knowing when to follow.
The False Promise of Universal Leadership
We tell our children, “You’re all leaders.”
But what happens when everyone’s a leader and no one knows how to follow?
You create a culture of individualism that mirrors the very system oppressing us. This hegemonic, white-dominated system thrives when we’re divided, self-absorbed, and allergic to cooperation.
To rise, we don’t need everyone to be a “boss.”
We need:
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Councils
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Followers with vision
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Strategists
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Builders
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Warriors
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Scribes
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Educators
In short: we need people who know their role in the circle, not just those fighting to be at the top of a pyramid.
A Real-Life Model: Functional Unity
Back in college, I found myself blessed with a circle of soulmates—brothers with different skills, different strengths, but shared respect. We didn’t have a “leader.” We had leadership moments.
Each of us stepped forward when the situation called for our gift.
That’s not chaos. That’s balance.
We led when necessary, and followed with humility. That’s what I call a functional council—a group built on mutual respect, reciprocity, and responsibility.
Stop Lying to Our Children
Telling a young person who’s clearly lost that they are “a leader” isn’t affirming—it’s misleading.
What if instead, we helped them find someone worth following?
What if we said, “You have potential. Let’s build on that together,” instead of giving them a title they haven’t earned and don’t understand?
We set them up for disillusionment and failure when we equate worth with authority, and leadership with identity.
The Power of the Collective
We’ve internalized this myth that says:
“Real men and women handle everything alone.”
Meanwhile, we’re drowning in debt, stress, isolation, and generational exhaustion. That’s not strength—that’s survival under a system that profits off our separation.
I’ve lived with people nearly my entire adult life—on purpose.
Shared rent. Shared food. Shared power.
And you know what I discovered?
The closer we live, the further we get.
We practiced Ujima and Ujamaa before we had language for it. That’s what real nationbuilding looks like—breaking bread, not breaking down.
It’s Time to Reframe Leadership
Instead of asking, “Who’s in charge?” we need to ask:
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What role can you play?
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Where is your gift needed?
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How can you serve the community?
Some of us will lead.
Some of us will follow.
All of us must build.
The Truth: We Come From Warriors, Builders, Healers, and Visionaries
We don’t all come from royalty—and that’s a beautiful thing.
Because freedom was never built on crowns. It was built on community.
Let’s stop feeding lies and start nurturing gifts.
Let’s stop seeking kingship and start practicing kinship.
This is Brother Ha2tim, thinking out loud, from the heart.
Peace.
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